It’s about damn time for a positive post…Am I right? My positivity shouldn’t be confused with a content-ness of all things in my life, but that’s not a prerequisite to taking time to reflect on good stuff going on. After having a bad weekend pain and fatigue-wise, I had a good day. It was filled with a few trips to the pharmacy and multiple doctor visits, BUT, that has allowed me to reflect on my progress. It’s easy to lose sight of progress when other things in life remain strained, but I know things will continue to get better as my health does. In the last two months, I’m down 75% in my pain medicine intake. Holy. Shit. Right? I never would have thought it was possible. However, I made the decision to start going down and once that decision was made, things started to align.
At first I went down 50% and it was hard, some days harder than others. Some days I needed the full amount, but slowly I adjusted. I hit a plateau at 50% and it was going on an extended-release nerve medication that got me to where I am today, which is 75% less! My goal is to be completely pain med free, but I will listen to my body and if I need it, I need it. Whatever it takes to be the most fully functioning version of myself, I will do it, and being on so much pain medicine wasn’t working for me anymore. Even on my highest dose I was still in significant daily pain. Slowly, negative side effects have decreased significantly and I feel okay (most of the time). I’m not recommending anyone do what I did because I’m in no way qualified to give advice like that. I’m just sharing my feelings of accomplishment at goal setting.
*Disclaimer 1: By “pain meds” I mean opioid based medicine, not general pain management meds.
*Disclaimer 2: I’m still in pain, it has not gone away, however my ability to do routine tasks like cook a small meal, vacuum the house, grocery shop (not all in the same day), have increased. The “my body feels like it is on fire” expression has rarely been coming out of my mouth lately and I used to say it all the time. My neck always still hurts, as does my back and left leg, but I can function, and that’s saying a lot. I’m not spending all my time in bed anymore. I’m thinking about my future again, and for a couple years now that has been stunted. I 100% feel it has to do with the nerve medication; It has somehow made things calm down and be more tolerable. I say “disclaimer” because I think people who have chronic pain/illness are afraid to say they are feeing better due to the assumption people will think they’re cured, or can now handle what they once did (and some people might think that). Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to handle what I once could, but I’m on a better track than I’ve been in years, and that’s encouraging. It’s been a long, complicated, multi-medication, multi-non-pharmaceutical therapies attempt, so I’m trying to savor whatever is happening, while praying it’s not temporary.
Sending positive vibes,